The phrase “raising children for security in old age” is less popular nowadays. First of all, it is not easy to raise children. After dumping lots of time and money on them, you won’t know how they will turn out. There is no guarantee that they will take care of the parents in need. Even if your child is willing, his or her spouse may not like the idea. So, we ask: why do we want children?
If the purpose of having children is to carry on the family lineage, this thought is definitely outdated given the fact that more families have members scattered all over the world. If it is to bring joy, likely we’re talking about no more than ten years. Many parents will agree that our teenagers give us more headaches than joy. Some couples think that children can help them hold the marriage together. In fact, such couples often end up in divorce once their children leave home for college.
Having a child can be considered a process of creation. Some theologians call it “co-creation with God.” To the creator, creation is not out of functional necessity but an expression of self. The aim is to establish a relationship of love. The purpose is to have someone sharing your emotions and possessions. One of the greatest satisfactions for parents is to see their children grow up to adopt their values and beliefs. Parents love to see children share the same moral judgments. It is exciting and rewarding to see a child grow up to be an independent and responsible person. This kind of joy is worth more than anything that money can buy.
To have children for our own happiness and enjoyment is a selfish thought. It is unfair to demand that they become successful to bring us glory. It is not only unrealistic to expect children to take care of us when we are old, but it will also exert unnecessary pressure on them. When our focus is selfish, the result is often disappointing.
We should focus more on our children’s wellbeing than our own needs and wants. We aim to raise decent human beings for God and the world. It is not important whether they have fame and wealth. As long as our children live a Godly and righteous life, we will feel the joy of creation.
Pastor Ken 2022
