by Pastor Ken
Children who grow up in the United States learn to say three “magic phrases”—please, thank you, and I’m sorry. When saying these words, one doesn’t need to consider the age difference or who is in charge. As adults, most people use these words regardless of differences in social status, gender, or wealth. It is an expression of friendliness and goodwill towards anybody.
Very often, “thank you” is used together with public praise. We praise other people for their actions, cooperation, and help in solving our problem, then we thank them.
I have seen a model of public praise in recent shooting incidents. At a certain point, the police chief would call a press conference to update the public about the investigation. At the end of the report, the chief would praise various government agencies, including the governor, the FBI, the state police, the county sheriff, the fire department, etc. Then the chief thanked them for their hard work and also expressed gratitude towards the general public for their help that led to the arrest of the suspect.
It is good to thank people in public. There is a Chinese saying, “You pay me one foot of respect, and I’ll return with ten feet.” Acknowledging people in public not only shows gratitude but also respect and honor. Later when you ask for help, no doubt they will reciprocate with the same attitude. In the end, we’ll enjoy working together and helping each other out.
The opposite of praise is pointing out mistakes and even criticizing. Even if the mistake is grievous, affecting professional ethics, or causing damage to the organization, we should try to deal with it with care and in private. To err is human. As long as the mistakes are unintentional, people should be given a second chance. Pointing out the mistakes in private with care and love often encourages the offender to be more careful next time. Perhaps in the future, when we ourselves make mistakes, we’ll find friends who are willing to help us.
Positive reinforcement and negative reinforcement are two related terms in psychology. More praise and more thanks are positive reinforcement, which encourages the other party to work harder and do their best. If you seize every opportunity to praise people in public, you’ll see amazing results. Avoiding public criticism and pointing out mistakes in private with care and love belong to negative reinforcement. It also encourages hard work and draws out the best in people.
When we seek wisdom from the Lord to apply this “public praise” principle according to the situation, we’ll definitely make more friends and enjoy good relationships to work together for the common good.
