by Ruth
When my husband (a retired pastor) and I were still serving in church ministry, many times brothers and sisters asked me this question: How do I deal with a difficult co-worker (or boss)?
Some ideas are shown below for your consideration.
1. Let it roll off your back- If the problems don’t affect you strongly, you can ignore them. Wait for a week to see if it still bothers you. This may seem difficult at first, but there’s something to be said for choosing your battles. Not everything can be ignored. Learn to focus on more critical matters.
2. Address the offending party directly: If the issue still bothers you. speak up in an assertive (rather than aggressive) manner. Politely, but firmly, say that you don’t appreciate the off-color jokes, don’t want to do their extra work, or tell them whatever else is on your mind. You may or may not get a positive response at first. But you’ll get the benefit of speaking your mind, and will at least get the message out there for the person’s consideration.
3. When things become ugly: Ask your mentor to step in.
4. Go to human resources or your boss. Assuming you’ve been documenting all the incidents, show your documents to the person. Be specific about what is upsetting you. Don’t say, “This person is driving me crazy.” Instead, show the specific incidents in your file such as: “This person habitually asks me to do her work while she visits chat rooms.” Don’t make personal attacks, but calmly state the behavior that’s bothering you, and ask if something can be done. Even better, offer your solution. After all, most bosses don’t like to learn about a problem without a solution.
5. Look for a new job. You’ve talked to your co-worker, human resources, and everyone else there is to talk to. Yet the problem persists and causes you significant stress. Consider changing jobs. It’s sad that things have to come to this, but there may be a better job out there for you, and you wouldn’t have been seeking it out if you didn’t have a difficult co-worker prompting you to make a change. There are potential positives in every situation. Pray about it and seek God’s guidance.
