After retirement, I have more time to sort out my old diaries. I have been journaling since high school. The whole collection covers more than fifty years of my life. Sometimes I wrote several hundred words a day. Other times I came up with only a few words a week, depending on my mood at the time. Before I re-read my old diaries, it seemed like time flew away without a trace. My memories were scattered here and there. Now I can use my diaries to list out events in my life chronologically.
In psychology, there are two forms of memory: recognition and recall. Recognition is to extract stored information from our brain based on hints or association. Recall is to do that without any clues. For example, I remember going to a place with someone 20 years ago, but I can’t recall his name. However, if someone gives me a list of names from that trip, I could immediately recognize his name.
Memory is fascinating. Everyone’s brain works differently. My wife is very sensitive to different tastes. When she samples a certain dish, she can tell whether it tastes the same or different from what she used to have from a street vendor in her hometown ten years ago. I am sensitive to sound. When I hear a piece of music, I can remember hearing it before. Sometimes I can even remember when and where I heard it for the first time.
Without a diary, the things I can recall are limited. It feels like I’m in a dream, where different people and events are all mixed together. Now when I turn to the diaries, there are many clues to help me recognize distinct events and see how things are connected. I’m thankful that I’ve successfully handled many days of frustration. I’m glad that complicated relationships have come to a closure. I’m grateful that God pulled me through insoluble perils miraculously.
Remembering the past is not just to pass time in old age, but to remind myself what important choices I’ve made in my life. It tells me who my true friends are. It shows how God has led me through every step of my faith journey, and He will strengthen my faith in the last stretch of my life.
I will keep on journaling.
Pastor Ken 2022
