The Chinese saying, “One same rice raises one hundred distinct kinds of people”, often makes us heave a sigh. When dealing with others who are different from us, we sometimes may have unhappy, unclear, or unexpected responses. People do have all kinds of personalities. Even between identical twins, they look the same but with vastly different personalities. Given a choice, among so many people around us, who would we like to be friends with?
Some people start complaining within minutes of meeting us. They have a lot of dissatisfaction with their jobs, families, the church, and the society, as if the whole world is against them. Then they criticize their friends one by one: this person is snobbish, that person wears outdated clothes…. No one is good enough in their eyes. We know this kind of person and dare not talk much, because maybe as soon as we part, we will become the object of their criticism.
There are also individuals who never express an opinion on any matter. They are very good people and get along well with others. When a group of friends get together to discuss something, they don’t take the initiative to speak or let others know their position. They agree with everyone. With such a person, even if we have known him or her for five years, we still only maintain a superficial relationship with each other. It is difficult to develop deep friendships.
So, am I looking for someone like me? No, because it’s more interesting to meet someone who is different from me. We need friends who are of different genders, ages, and personalities. However, we must share similar values. For example, we honor the basics such as showing respect, having clear boundaries, honoring what you have promised, and sharing thoughts and emotions. Friends can criticize each other but should never make personal attacks. They must encourage each other to grow in knowledge and in faith.
If we want to go further and become close friends, we need to have the same faith, fear and serve the same God. Because with God’s grace, we can keep the relationship pure, share our spiritual experiences, and enjoy our friendships.
*(Ken, retired pastor. Ken served in 3 different churches from 1987-2020.)
